I was not sure that all the decision that i have make is right. No one is perfect, me too. out of some reasons, i might have a very suprised and controversy decision, no one will know and understand, no one. just myself know why it has been make.

i m walking alone in my life, did someone can understand me better then myself? i doubt that. don pretend that you know me well, that is impossible. ( except Oliver)

some decision that you make does not mean you can see the result right now. instead, it might take a long time like 1 , 2 or 3 years then you see the result. Plus some multiply effect, the result normally is always out of your control and imagination.

i already prepared to bear any consequences before a decision, it look stubborn, yup, i m, i will never denial it, no at all. All i wanted is just let myself more comfortable, i m tired after this few years. i m tired, really tired. i don want to have any difficult undergo anymore. i would like to let my self stay in peace, i need time to find myself back since my soul already do not belong to myself long time ago, been giving her, and i wanted to ask back from her.

I don know when the real meng loong will be back. but the real meng loong will be back in one day definately. the shaken soul seen like cannot bear any difficulty. it still shaking. how are you able to find a imcompleted soul in a perfect body? never! if the soul is imcomplete, then the body will never be perfect. don tell me that imperfect is part of the perfection. i will never agree with you right now.

I will always fight what i wanted, never say give up. if i seen like giving up, all my friends and foes, don worry, it just that i need time to re-adjust for my self. i need to redo many stuff that seen like doesn't match to my plan.

to those who standing behind, no matter you are or had, laughing me, beware, i m coming back and after you. to those who used to help me, i owe a thounsand thank you to you. it is just a littile adjustment, don worry brothers, i m still who i m. i m resting now does not mean that i will fall forever. instead, i m recharging and clambing up.

not necessary you have to speak it out of everything, it is just that neither the situation or the person are not muture enough to let you to do so. the time will come, but not now. i don like to put things pretty close to my chest, not the right time to do so. if the situation already muture but the person already no longer the person, whath should i do? i will call this as fate. no one call against and chanllange the will of GOD, not even me.

it seen like i already have make a decision, no one can change , no one. don be suprised when you see that, because it is a normal reaction that i will have when i confronting someone. it is part of my characteristic.

It was not that i need to have such a big reaction, but then i merely counld not tolerate anymore of this kind of fucking situation. under such situation, i have no choice. i believe that the time and space is not an excuse to stopping me from learning.

Will God help me? i don need help thoough i have my limitaions, but i don really need help. i will cross my obstecles emotionalessly. that is all

i m sorry to those who may concern.

why reading matter?

Why reading matter?

I used to be like some of you, hate reading. I was thinking, why the hell should we need to spent few hours on that table with the damn book and dancing with that words inside!

Why can't we go shopping or have a cup a tea and gossip with my friends to kill time? Is not it a better way to pass a day? Come on, reading is really doesn not matter! i told myself.

Thanks to the United States bombing Yugoslavia, i started to read newpaper when i was standard 3. I read not because i wanted to know what was going on of the both countries, but i was attracted by the American's advanced technology, it just like a TV drama, i must read the paper everyday.

Day by day, my curiosity grow, the answer in the newspaper no longer coould satisfied me, so i have to go to bookshop to buy some book to fill in the blank of the unknown.

It is hard to understand some words at first, because we don not know! So, in order to understand it, we will check dictionary to undertsand the meaning. Day by day, we learn many new words.

But you will never realize it in short time, because it will only realized after a long period.

Reading an article in a new paper, it is just like seeing the surface of the sea of knowledge, you will never go into it. By going into the full story of the newpaper article, of course, we need book! the book that talk particular in that story. For example, when we talk about the first Gulf War, we need to know the history of Iraq, Suddam Hussin, their economic, legal system, ethic group or blah blah. Then you will know why USA was bombing that country, by your knowledge, you will judge which side is right or wrong. Thanks to my well undertsanding parent, who never say anything when i buying expansive book.

Why reading matter?

When we reading, we improve our grammar unintentionally. We read it in our heart, as time go on and on, you will realize that readin could improve your grammar as well. The words you chose are more professional, precious, and exactly, and you also will express yourself better. You will discover it when you are talking to people.

it is difficult for me to finished a fiction that about 400 pages at first. I still remember first time i attempt to start reading an novel, i almost give up, because there are so many word i don understand. But, i try to check dictionary word by word, it seen silly, but it is work. You sure will remember some of the meaning of the words when you finished a book, not all, but some. The stupid way provide a most effective result!

Why reading matter?

Reading can make you wise! i could not agree more with this! We spent money to buy a book, many of you sure will say such a waste! Come on, dude, we spent a couple of dollar to buy a book, to understand a life of a great person, we learn their wisdom, from the book, we learn a whole life of a great person just by spending couple of dollars that is helpful in your current and future life! why should not we spent money on books?

why reading matter?

When you read, you know more, when you know more, it is easy for you to be persuasive , this is really important in your career, becuase we always have to pursuade other in working place, unless you are intent not to notice by other, then you don have to be persuasive.

Reading also is a ladder to achieve self-actualization. By reading, you will know more about yourself, you will know the nature of human being, and it could change your attitude, the way of your life or something that is really make you feel empty. but feeding the knowledge inside, you will look and talk like a person with content. you have a mature thinking, you will consider everything from different angle, you will try to think from others perspective, because you have learn to walk in other shoe. Not being childish anymore, this is hardly understand by the person who did not actually read, because they can never understand this.

Reading make you wise. When you know more, you will be confident, not being that little boy that always hide in the shell. you dare to walk out from your little paradise, to accept the unknown challenge in the future, you will fight everything by your brain, without any bloodshed.

Of course, the reading that i have mentioned above must from good book. if it is not, just we are just wasting time on reading a book that you have nothing can learn from. It is just like you are walking randomly in the street without a destination, you are just wasting you energy and time.

So, thi is why reading matter!